Back Burner

I'm nineteen. But I feel like I'm going on thirty. I really feel like I'm going nowhere. I need to make a decision on what the hell I'm going to do with my life. Like, I know I don't want to live a 'conventional' life. Conventional meaning: Regular job, married by twenty five or so, kids by thirty, grow old, and die. Seriously. If you get the feeling I'm heading down that path, you have permission to kill me. I don't want that. It's too.....mundane for me. I mean, I get the job part. It's necessary. But I know for a fact I'm never getting married or having kids. EVER. I want a life full of experience. At least I think I want that. I don't know. I'm lost and confused. Whatever.